Only last year I found that I was born on a sacred Blot to heathens. Part of my ancestral blood. Today, on my 40th birthday, I relate to this discovery and what it means. Should you see ego, know that it is but an acceptance of what I am, not a glorification of what I wish I was. I bow to no gods, do not misunderstand me. I merely take the lessons and learn from them.
Once I was told to choose a goddess to serve.
To pick someone from my ancestral blood.
To emulate her and learn from her gifts.
To stop chasing spirits not kin to me.
That I was grasping for things.
That I needed to bring myself back to kin.
How is that possible? How do I take my ancestry and pick just one thing from it's vast collection of guides? What of the differences in them as my blood runs farther south-east and how could I possibly pick just one?
So I ran from the idea with everything I am and everything I was. I, being raised to Roman Catholic ends, would serve no master and bow to no gods.
Then I realized that there were no gods to serve and fear. No gods to bow to. What existed was their stories. Their teachings. The ideas of man combined with the truth of nature. To help us better understand our purpose and to show us a deeper more bountiful way. The stars aligned as guides and we created the gods from them for us to know a simpler way, a deeper meaning, an older life.
The magic of old is in me. The ways of the old ones fills my soul. I am not an emulation, though I am an inspiration of that divine force.
Today, Frigga's Blot on the Heathen calendar and the day I was born. This seems good to me. Not looking, I found something that resonates. Divine mother, nurturing force and quite possibly a double to a different maiden from the mother. A personality split of sorts. Frigga and Freya.
The Twins of Gemini. Mother and Maiden as I approach Crone.
I forge ahead in love, with my lover to my destiny. My head in the skies, weaving clouds to my will, creating in the daydream. My thumbs are green, as I midwife to the seeds and plants and I pick medicines of healing.
Although a seer, I cannot change what I see ahead, I just see, I warn, I live to be.
A warrior, aimed to fight for freedoms, for love. I stand by my lover fully in my sensuality and gifts. This is who I am.
So although I do not bend to any will and although I do not worship at the feet of any stone statue. I am forever grateful for these little reminders of the gods and goddesses that we embody. Should anyone sense ego, I assure you, I am humbled. The comfort in my own skin is great and finally as it should be.
It is the simplest, most intricate events in this life that cultivate slowly to make the greatest things happen. These small weavings through time are a treasures we often overlook. Walk each moment in a way that leaves you whole and not wanting. Not always the way it goes but surely the way most rewarding, most memorable and most pleasing when hindsight sits at your feet, beckoning you to understand the lesson.
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