Perhaps this isn't poetry to some but my life sure is.
I woke this morning full of intention and purpose of self.
I went to bed 42 and woke up 43
I went out to the back before our Wee Woods and knelt down in the grass. I placed the palms of my hands on the Earth and intentionally drew up her energies with each breath. I gave her the remnants of my sorrows and doubts.
I am rooted.
I am stable.
I am grounded.
I breathed in the air so fresh and clean, so low to the ground. I inhaled peace, calm and gratitude. I exhaled any remnants of worry, insecurity and condemnation.
I am communication.
I am the breath of new life.
I am the mind in motion.
I touched the glistening dew on the blades of grass before me. I washed my hands, my face and feet. I felt so much in this moment that tears softly, gently, and without any ache, joined the dew in my face. I washed away my shames and my lacking and was left with only my strength, my beauty, my truth.
I am sensitive.
I am nurturing.
I am deep.
I raised my face toward the Sun, so bright and bold. Kissing my brow, illuminating my Eye and showing me my fire gathered from his. Helping me to See, to know, to be. Letting that which does not serve me to burn away.
I am creation.
I am destruction.
I am transformation.
I went within where Spirit resides and grew even more quiet and still. I listened. This celestial energy we all cime from and are is vast and fills all spaces. We are not separate from it. We are this divinity. We are magic, the skchrmicsl process, transmutation, we are divine intervention, and energy in motion.
I am infinite.
I am pure energy.
I am unlimited potential.
I feel now more than ever thst I know my worth, whst serves me and what does not. I am more whole than I have ever been and as I continue to grow I can promise one thing only;
It only gets better from here. With each step, every breath, each droplet, flickering flame and symbol that appears. It only gets better from here.
So much love and gratitude on this day of my Solar return and every day.
It seems I've had a lot of these solar returns. 43 now. Wow.
I remember almost all of them. You might not believe me but I remember my third there in the far left corner, along with my fourth in the top right and all the way through to today.
I even remember some of my 2nd in broken bits of fragmentation.
I feel celebrating is a daily exercise and showings of gratitude should be often, more than daily, sometimes minute by minute. Yet oh, how I love to reflect and get caught up in moments of nostalgic bliss.
Today was a very good day all the way around. I woke quietly to my husband crawling into bed after a night shift and whispered 'happy birthday' with a kiss on my neck as his arms encircled my torso and he drifted to sleep. I laid there for as long as I could before I snuck out of his embrace.
I stepped outside and centred myself with such purposeful intentions of how I needed and wanted to start my day. How grateful I am that my needs and wants can match up as they do. Simplicity.
I got to spend a bit of my morning with my son, my Leo Sun, my boy turning into a man. He hugged me good morning and wished me a happy birthday and then helped me pack up the truck with my wares for today's show. He takes care of me so well and reminded me a few times to put my glasses on before I left.
I got to the vending show and huried myself to prepare my table. I love this part, the preparations and placing each product 'just so'. I adore my new sample containers which were a hit today! Mosquito season makes my 'Heal Me' an easy sell. Not one person was left with an itch if they arrived with one and everyone agreed that those mozzies are ravenous and out in battalions this year.
Then my phone lit up with a message from my daughter, my mirror, my life, my crazy, brilliant, chaotic Moon child. She wants to take me to a movie tonight but I talk her into a night this week instead. She's off to work before I get home and I won't see her until well after dinner. I miss her, I'm looking forward to a hug before she disappears into her room.
I talked to great people today, I got to help, tend to, laugh and I get teary eyed. I share darkness and light and everything in between. I bartered for cool things like a vintage bowl filled with bathbombs, a tiger's eye necklace and a very nice bookmark that I'll put to good use.
I get to be me which is good because I no longer know who else to be other than the reality of who I am and I am so grateful for this. To just be ecactly who I am is the best gift I could possibly give to myself. No hiding away for fear of being too much, too bold, too Cari-Lee. That's who I am though, without apprehension or apology.
I'm owning that shit. 😘
Thankyou to everyone who wished me well and sent me love. I send mine back in turn with so much gratitude and joy in your kindness.
So here's to 43 Solar returns and so much gratitude for each and every one. I look forward to the next 43 ahead of me 😉
It is the simplest, most intricate events in this life that cultivate slowly to make the greatest things happen. These small weavings through time are a treasures we often overlook. Walk each moment in a way that leaves you whole and not wanting. Not always the way it goes but surely the way most rewarding, most memorable and most pleasing when hindsight sits at your feet, beckoning you to understand the lesson.
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