I won't complain that it's cool, damp and grey. It's exactly what it needs to be perhaps.
Last night after a morning of light rain and grey skies, the weather turned to into sun and warmth for the rest of the day. After dinner, I looked around and thought to myself that I should water some of the plants. Not all of them, most of them got enough watering in the morning to last them. Within the hour, the clouds rolled in and it began to rain. All I could do was smile. Somehow I always manage to get exactly what I need. 'But last year was a drought,' you say. Ahh yes, it was, so maybe what I needed last year, was to walk with my watering can back and forth to my gardens and water my plants as I did. Maybe that is exactly what I needed then.
When I say that I tend to get exactly what I need, I am not exaggerating. Whether you want to call it Life, the Universe or Divine Providence, I do not go without and any lesson or strife that comes my way are full of purpose.
Examples are many so I'll begin with Friday. I woke up and was in no bad way. We're heading into the 'lean week' as John gets paid bi-weekly and the second week always seems to have us a little tight on cash. I had a few things I wanted to do that we were 'just barely' going to be able to do. I'm ok with that though because we don't need or want for much over the weekend. Just spending our time together as a family is enough. With that mindset in play, I go about my day. That's when the Fates stepped in and the magic began. Suddenly I get a message for a sale that sees me packaging one and two or more of everything in my store to send off through the post. In a snap, I have enough and a little bit more.
The next morning we go out to a new market and meet up with a friend, walk the grounds, see new vendors of interest and truly enjoy our morning. We indulge in some of our favorite foods that we haven't had in a while. There is this one vendor who makes the best samosas I have ever had in my life. She's incredible. We've traded wares before and she's so humble, so kind and gracious. Aidan especially loves her food and went back to tell her so. She gave him a few extra samosas just for sharing how great they are! I found some new art pieces I'm interested in, a new soap vendor, some really good blueberry iced tea and lemonade, delicious unpasteurized honey and a lovely hand-blended tea vendor. All of this set in a quaint and beautiful outdoor market with people buzzing about. What a way to spend our Saturday morning!
After that, we set off to the market in our hometown to visit my favorite veggie vendor for some herbs I wanted to add to the gardens. A woman that was obviously in a rush pushed in front of us in line and made her demands, then looked at me and said, 'oh, were you here first?' My reply was that it didn't matter, that I was in no rush. The vendor himself looked at her and said it was fine, we needed to talk anyway. You see, it didn't matter how rude she was or that she cut in line to get ahead. I received exactly what I needed in the end anyway. John and the farmer talked, I picked out my tarragon, Thai basil, asparagus and garlic and then we spoke until the next customer came and then we made our way to my lovely baker. He's retiring in 7 months! My heart sank! There are certain baked goods I cannot recreate! (I haven't challenged myself to try yet) 'What will I do without you?', I asked. He put his arm around me and said I would be fine. Look at all I had made in the last few years. 'Do you need some recipes? I will write them out for you! You can do all of this and more. You want to and that sets you apart. You can do this yourself!'. And there, once again I am given exactly what I need. Reassurance that everything will be ok and I can do this too, that I already have and will. The tradition he has kept alive for me, I have done this for my family. It's ok to let go. It's ok. He promised his wife in 7 months he will have his weekends back again. She never sees him! I understand, how can I possibly be upset with his decision. I can make what he does and I will! I will miss him, but I will never forget! We buy one croissant for Aidan and he gives us two, I hug him hard, he shakes John's hand, we laugh and we leave.
When we get home it's nearly noon and Sierra is up and ready to go to work. She's cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed the rugs and swept the kitchen floor. She really likes her sleep on the weekends, as all teenagers do and so to have her up and doing all of these chores is appreciated and after a rough week of 'teenager stuff', this is welcomed. She leaves to walk herself to work and we go off to do more errands. Life is good, life is simple, life is exactly what we need it to be.
More customers stopped by to pick up Fairy Licks, which is selling quite well now that I finally have it labeled and up on the website. I don't know why I procrastinated with this particular product so much. I was selling it last year but I never promoted it. Now that I am, it's being received well and it's a great way to showcase the powers of the mighty plantain 'weed', my lovely frog's back medicine. Everyone who buys them almost always comes back for a jar of 'Heal Me' Skin Salve and then expands out from there. The dandelion wares are flying off the proverbial shelves. My experimental skin butter with frankincense has done really well and I'm glad I took the chance and tried something new. I had poured a good amount of the Dandelion Orange Creamsicle Lip and Skin Butter and only 10 of the Revive and Refresh Dandelion Skin Butter. With only 2 of the latter left, I am glad I have a few glass jars of dandelions petals infusing in my windows to create more. The weather is bringing out more dandelion flowers daily and New Moon to New Moon I have something beautiful on the go, always. I have everything I need and all that I want.
I even have reminders and lessons (not always so pleasant) to show me that we have made so many right decisions for ourselves and our family. Someone who is less than reputable and filled with self-loathing and hatred tried to sully my name and create drama where none was needed. It's typical of this person and with the Full Moon upon us in a mere 4 days, it's as if I could have set my watch to their lunacy and deranged outburst. What a reminder of how blessed I am to not have this person siphoning my energy from me any longer! What an example of how some people are never ever happy or satisfied in their lives that they need to run around creating drama when they see others are happy in ways they can never seem to manage. What a great thing that I was provided with more proof of their instability to add to the myriad of nonsense that has been tossed my way since I decided I would no longer enable bad behavior in others, when I realized my true value and decided that I would never go back to accepting 'less than' ever again.
While my family and I were busy living, loving and being, this creature was plotting, conspiring with their demons and demeaning their own life. While we were laughing and learning, planting and tending to our lives, this person was on self-destruct and wallowing in their own covetous ways of lacking. While we created they sought to destroy and in doing so, added to their own inevitable self-destruction. While my children were working and playing, my husband and I were tending to and loving one another on a Sunday afternoon like couples do, free from worries, free from concerns, just doing what more of us should be doing! Loving one another! While I was enjoying my life and appreciating each and every moment I have been blessed with, Life gave me more reason to be grateful for all that I have overcome, all that I have endured and all that I have risen above.
So thank-you old vampire once disguised as a friend. Thank-you for adding to the proof that you bury yourself under. Thank-you for the example you set to show others how they never want to be. Thank-you for bringing a dose of reality about how life could be if I did not appreciate the beauty that is before me. How life might be if I would have chosen different paths where I left myself in wanting and in lacking. Thank-you for showing me exactly what I needed to see to be more grateful than I already was, for this life I have created for myself, where I am the master of my destiny. Where I get a say in who I give my most valuable resources to; my time, my love, my energy. You served your purpose in my life quite well. I hope you get the healing and help you need one day, although this is of no concern to me, it truly should be for you. Be well and find peace and self-love in the darkness you create for yourself before you go too far and cannot turn back if that time has not already come for you.
Dear Vampire: I mean, you can try to be someone else as much as you like, you can want and wish for everything they have as much as you like. You can work at imitating it all and pretend until the cows come home but in the end, you're always going to be you, so why would you self-hate and imitate when you can be fabulously yourself?! Time to give yourself some credit and be authentic.
You see, I have everything I need and all that I want. I am not about to take any of it for granted. Providence would not allow for that anyway.
Have a beautiful day. Appreciate the small nuances of this life. See the deeper meanings. Understand that our wants shouldn't outweigh our needs and perhaps we'd all be so much more grateful if we could master that art a bit more.
You get what you give folks
Now go get yours!
Author: Cari-Lee Miller
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I am a seed burst forth from its shell. I have mingled and fought in the dirt. I am ready to kiss the Sun. *CLM
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Your medicine is in the woods.
Your pharmacy is in your kitchen.