It's a funny statement but one I repeat often. 'I am not the doctor'. I do not cure wounds not mine.
Set aside the awesomeness of the 'Heal Me' Soothing Salve I've mastered and that's the truth. Set aside my knack for utilizing herbs to their greatest potential and I'm my own patient and I'll never be looking to take on more than myself in my practice. Others should perhaps adopt this way of thinking.
The weather has been fickle to say the very least. So have many of us been. Fickle and foolish at times.
This morning it's cold and the ground is icy. Yesterday was much like a Spring morning; cloudy and mild with all of the furry four legged creatures out collecting.
What am I learning from the weather, Nature, the animals frolicking through these wee woods?
Honestly, to simply pay attention, to listen, to speak minimally in times where ears hear clearer truths and eyes see past clouded veils.
When fans blow away the smoke from the mirrors and the ones behind their curtains are shown to be just like us all: mere mortals. Not that we've ever thought them otherwise.
Sometimes when we're given wings we can't help but fly too close to the Sun. You don't grab onto others while you fall, as a rule. You take your descent as gracefully as possible without causing harm to those around you as you fall, without dragging anyone down with you. It's yours. It's not anyone's but yours.
No one believes anyone to be greater than but some seem to like to climb upon their pedestals to be voyeurs of us all while pointing out but not truly in. Let them but don't get too close. Boot isn't tasty.
Now all is frozen once again in a sort of pause to look, to hear, to feel and to trust in one's own abilities. Because in the depths of the frozen encasement there is a fire than burns hot and bright through it all.
And what do the animals do? They gather their harvested gold and bring it home to their nests, to be shared with those they love and are closest to. What have you gathered? What do you bring back to your loves?
It's cold but it's telling.
But What About Doctoring?
There's a fantastic song from Alanis Morisette I have always loved to belt out whenever I have felt that someone is putting their issues on me to deal with, rather than taking care of themselves. Projections instead of reflections. The song is called Not The Doctor and it's posted below.
Some will admire others and truly take away so much from what messages they share while still there are those that covet without knowing. Who resent without understanding they are doing so. Those who see the way others cope and who will inadverdently attempt to sabatoge progress without conciously being aware that they are doing so. And why? Becasue they have not made the same strides and wish they had or they feel less than. When we feel less than it is sometimes in our nature to take from others until we learn that we are truly never lacking.
But truly whether you dive deep or wade in the shallowest of puddles, everyone has had someone in their lives that look to them for healing instead of taking care of themselves and so many times more than not, we have enabled them to think it's perfectly acceptable.
We're supposed to support one another, we're not supposed to syphon off of one another however. We're still learning the differences in how we relate, aide and comfort each other in so many ways. We're still lost creatures finding our way through a broken world that's rebuilding as it tears itself down.
I don't have answers but I have boundaries and I am not the doctor that can cure what ails your fractured heart. Only you can do that for yourself. And that means I won't be your monster either. Unless you fit a filter for your own perspective and then yes, I will be whatever you project onto me to serve you when you need it. I just won't be aware of it if I'm not participating.
Who do I speak to? I speak to all of the pieces of you and all the pieces of me and I work daily to make sure every fibre of my being hears that.
Not the doctor, not the victim, not the monster, not the savior and not an excuse for anyone, including myself, to hang onto in order to hold onto the illusion. Nope, I'm not any of that for anyone. Niether are you unless you allow it.
Not The Doctor
Author: Cari-Lee Miller
Understand this, dear reader:
This blog space is like a diary to which consent for my writings/feelings/expressions, is never needed or asked for. This is my space and if it brings you uncomfortable feelings, feel free to look no further and keep to the spaces that do you no harm.
I am a seed burst forth from its shell. I have mingled and fought in the dirt. I am ready to kiss the Sun. *CLM
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Your medicine is in the woods.
Your pharmacy is in your kitchen.